Thanksgiving is this week, which can only mean one thing: we’ve entered high You’ve Got Mail season. I’ve seen the movie at least a dozen times, so when today I endeavored to find an exact quote—for a blog post about Barnes & Noble, the IRL Fox Books-turned-lone-reed—I was not expecting my fundamental understanding of the You’ve Got Mail-iverse to grow in any meaningful way. And then, while reading the movie’s full screenplay on The Daily Script (“FADE IN ON: CYBERSPACE”), I found a deleted subplot in which Kathleen Kelly’s boyfriend Frank (Greg Kinnear) tries to help save The Shop Around the Corner by enlisting the help of “William Spungeon, the most famously reclusive author since J.D.Salinger.” (Spungeon was played by Michael Palin, of Monty Python fame.) The character comes out to show his support, he tells Kathleen how much he liked her late mother, who owned the store before her, and then… he sexually harasses her.
You have your mother’s hair. Thick,
wild, the color of Nebraska wheat.
He grabs her and tries to kiss her.
What are you doing? Let me go.
He backs her into a wall.
Stop it. Are you crazy?
She kicks him in the shins, wiggles free and runs away.
(calling after her)
If you change your mind, you can E-mail
And that’s it. He isn’t mentioned again. As a You’ve Got Mail completist, I’m glad to know about this subplot, but I’m also really glad it didn’t make it into the movie. A sexual harassment subplot played for comic relief would probably put a damper on the holiday spirit.