A century from now, when the Autonomous Underwater City State of Key West has defeated the last of its subaqueous rivals for control of What Was Once Florida (WWOF) you can be sure they will celebrate with yet another Ernest Hemingway Lookalike Contest.
And if my math is correct, you could do worse than to put your money on the great grandson of this year’s winner, Zach Taylor, whose victory marks the first ever father-son duo to hold the title of “bearded white guy who kind of looks like Ernest Hemingway.” Taylor, a 63-year-old Georgian, narrowly beat out the rest of the field of guys who look kind of like Ernest Hemingway by employing his go-to strategy of *really* looking kind of like Ernest Hemingway (a reliable approach no doubt learned from his father-in-law, Carlie Coley, who won the contest 21 years earlier).
I still can’t quite tell if I find the continuity of this contest, which was first held in 1981, reassuring or unhinged: though it was canceled last year, the latest seven-day average for new daily Covid cases in Florida is up to an alarming 10,452, which “leads” the nation… and might have suggested a more prudent approach from organizers! Really not a great time to get a bunch of old guys together in one place, people.
But sure, anything to appease the wrathful ghost of Big Papa.