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Some topical literary Halloween costumes for 2022.

Jessie Gaynor

October 4, 2022, 4:33pm

(Please not that because the Discourse is the ultimate zombie, many of my 2021 suggestions (Supply Chain Issues, JCO’s Twitter, Emotional BookTok Teen) still apply.)

Literary Non-Hottie
The perfect for lazy, not-hot party-goers—wear your normal clothes, hold a book, and authoritatively speculate about the inner lives of the smokeshows around you.

DOJ v. PRH (couples costume)
Wear suits; argue so loudly about what constitutes a large advance that you make everyone around you uncomfortable.

Robot Writer
Wear a cardboard box robot costume and tell all the writers you see that you’re coming for their jobs.

Skyhorse Editor
Go to an extremely messy party and dig through the trash. Extract the wettest thing you can find and carry it around with you for the rest of the night, declaring it a masterwork of reason in a cancel-mad world. (Alternatively, seven Babadooks and Kid Rock).

Olivia Wilde
Carry your Lit Hub tote (IYKYK); avoid Florence Pugh, questions about Florence Pugh, and reviews.

Republican Book Ban
Go around knocking books, drinks, phones, and essential medication out of people’s hands. When they ask why you’re being such a dick, tell them it’s for the sake of the children. At this point, they will likely point out that there are no children around and politely ask you to leave, making this the perfect costume for anyone who would rather be in bed anyway.

Pamela Paul
Stand next to the person dressed as the Republican Book Ban and point out that they’re making some good points. Leave together the party together. Get married. Start a Substack empire.

2022 Librarian
Write the word “SOCIETY” on two pieces of fabric and spend the whole evening trying to hold them together. DO NOT LET GO. We’re all counting on you.

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