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    Cool merch for classic novels.

    James Folta

    July 24, 2024, 9:30am

    We’re living in the golden age of wacky book merch: Raven Leilani’s Luster nail polish, Sally Rooney’s on-trend Beautiful World bucket hats, and now Sable Yong’s Die Hot With A Vengeance perfume. Of course, this is nothing new — the ‘90s had a streak of collectible trading cards of writers — but it feels like these days, the lives of readers and writers increasingly revolves around swag.

    Here are some ideas for book merch for classic novels, in case any publishers are considering releases or if I ever get my dream job of “publishing marketer with a time machine.”

    Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
    Woolf lovers can upgrade their dinner parties with a set of Mrs.-Dalloway-themed cloth napkins, embroidered with the novel’s cover. Perfect for the next time you host an evening with friends that is rife with internal revelations about figures from your past, or for a dinner alone when you want to be reminded to recall your past every time you delicately dab at your mouth.

    The Power Broker by Robert Caro
    Fans of this towering work on urban planning and power can now travel in style in this limited edition 1955 Packard sedan, customized with decals that make it look like Robert Moses and Robert Caro are riding in the backseat. The car only takes extra-leaded gasoline.

    Moby Dick by Herman Melville
    Ever wondered what’s up with those middle chapters of Moby Dick that are filled with descriptions of different paintings of whales? With our series of promotional reprints, you can bore your friends with your own descriptions of these whale paintings, from the comfort of home.

    Now you can puzzle at the “sort of howdah on its back, and its distended tusked mouth into which the billows are rolling” in Horgath’s “Perseus Descending”, or laugh at “the prodigious blunder…made of representing the whale with perpendicular flukes” in the plate in “A Whaling Voyage to Spitzbergen in the ship Jonas in the Whale, Peter Peterson of Friesland, master.”

    It’s hours and hours of fun!

    The Odyssey by Homer
    Have you ever been on a cruise and thought, “I never want to go home, I wish this sailing adventure could last for ten years!” Well Carnival Cruises is here to make that dream come true with a once-in-a-lifetime tie-in with Homer’s epic poem about a very memorable trip.

    Odyssey: The Cruise is the first luxury voyage to combine the relaxation of cruises with the challenge of escape rooms: can you solve all of our puzzles and games? We won’t let you leave the cruise ship until you do!

    The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman
    We partnered with Home Depot to launch a line of affordable, chic, and eye-catching wallpapers! Each of these bright yellow patterns is guaranteed to brighten your day — you’ll love them so much, you may never want to leave your house again!

    No, we haven’t finished reading this book yet, why do you ask?

    The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
    Never lose your way with Gatsby’s green nightlight, perfect for a child who is afraid of the dark, or an adult who needs something to stare at during endless nights of wondering where it all went awry…

    Dracula by Bram Stoker
    Dracula is a book that is remembered for one thing, and one thing alone: paprika chicken. That’s right, the spiced dish that Johnathan Harker is always writing home about can now be yours, with this promotional smoked paprika. “Dracula’s Stoked Paprika” will add flavor to any dish, from poultry, to veggies, to Renfield’s favorite dish: flies.

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