in want, wielding radar against myself.
my better judgment animated a body
warped under shadow, psychosis
stemmed cinematics: a curtailed
lover’s matinee.
we craft hermetic force, forge code.
lips lapping toward a language shared
through dream. i’d crawl long out that
river following you home, your sweet
smelling fervor familiar like climate.
loving through a screen blurred by sleep
is a fraught commitment. perhaps i should
put down my pen and meditate on that—
instead i recount the weather we wedged
between riddles, sweet nothings bent
through bluelight.
hopeless as it goes so often for us
dancing the night away in secret. i
might mention i’m unwell, reveal
my burns, the blood sucked clean
by the stage lights spell—gauche
symbols of fame ring true you’d
steal love off my lips for the
sing-along charade-scape. oh,
how you doubt me—trick of the
brown drink guzzle.
conflicting sonics. no somatic match
made true. don’t bother me, i’m nursing
another sickness. in bed blinking sexy-like
at a photo burned onto my phone. how long
can i go on clutching a promise made to a
child by a child? no one’s at fault, not really
—the higher mind circles the scene
unencumbered by her earthly affection
but i have fingers and find relief in counting
your transgressions—come to find there’s a
prize in it all, a ribbon surfing the horizon
of my vision begging to be severed, stopped—
__________________________________
Excerpted from Dereliction by Gabrielle Octavia Rucker, available via The Song Cave.
