
Which literary characters would wear masks? (An investigation.)
Which of your favorite literary characters would dutifully mask up, and which ones would act like human plumes? I have some thoughts.
Atticus Finch
Yeah, and he’s working on a really good metaphor about masks, society, and citizenship. Don’t worry—he’ll tweet it when it’s ready.
Raskolnikov
He burned all his masks after he watched the Plandemic video twelve times in a row when he couldn’t sleep, but bought more when he accidentally infected an entire Chipotle. Now he always wears one, even inside (and also retweets Atticus Finch a lot).
Zeus
Are you kidding? He wore a mask WHILE ? GIVING ? BIRTH ? TO ? HIS ? DAUGHTER ? FROM ? HIS ? HEAD. So what’s your excuse?
Jane Eyre
She always wears one of her own hand-sewn masks that she sells on her Etsy store. For every mask you buy, she’ll donate three dozen to low-income families. She’s losing a ton of money.
The Narrator of Invisible Man
You mean the rest of you weren’t wearing them already?
Emma Bovary
Fine, she’ll wear a mask. But only if it’s this Collina Strada one.
Tom Ripley
Yes, but only so he’s more difficult to identify.
Ignatius J. Reilly
He claims to have a medical exemption, but lucky for us he’s too busy working on his latest pitch for Quillette to go out much.
Puck
Not only will he not wear a mask, he’ll trick you into giving him your mask and then he’ll post a picture of you and all your friends on Instagram with a caption shaming you for your lack of masks. He will tag you all.
Dr. Frankenstein
No, but only because he’s 99% sure he had it in January. He was sick for, like, three weeks. He keeps meaning to get an antibody test, but he’s got a lot on his plate right now. (He definitely thinks you should be wearing one, though.)
Frankenstein’s monster
Obviously, yes! He’s wearing two, and a face shield! So why do you still run from him in fright?

Jessie Gaynor
Jessie Gaynor is a senior editor at Lit Hub whose writing has appeared in McSweeney's, The New Yorker, The Paris Review, and elsewhere. Her debut novel, The Glow was published by Random House in 2023. You can buy it here.