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Val Kilmer is releasing a memoir (!!!)

Dan Sheehan

October 25, 2019, 12:13pm

Stop whatever it is you’re doing and pay attention to me because I have, just this morning, stumbled upon some joyous, and potentially game-changing, literary news: Val Kilmer is releasing a memoir.

Yes, friends, according to Publishers Weekly, Simon & Schuster will publish I’m Your Huckleberry—the first memoir by mercurial thespian and one-time Batman, Val Kilmer—in April of 2020. The book will be released ahead of next summer’s hotly-anticipated Top Gun sequel, Top Gun: Maverick, in which Kilmer reprises the role of volleyball-loving shitheel fighter pilot Tom “Iceman” Kazansky opposite fifty-seven year old human death wish Tom Cruise.

As someone who has followed Val’s career for the better part of a quarter century—quietly celebrating the triumphs of his early-to-mid 90s heyday (The DoorsTombstoneBatman ForeverHeat), and loudly defending the misunderstood gems of his (alleged) late 90s to late 2010s decline (Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is great and Oliver Stone’s Alexander is not without its charm; please do not @ me)—I am beside myself with excitement.

To tide you all over until next Spring, here are a few choice cuts from Val’s extensive filmography.

 

In which Val’s Iceman accuses Tom Cruise’s Maverick of being dangerous (Top Gun):

In which Val’s Jim Morrison does peyote in the desert with Meg Ryan’s Pamela Courson (The Doors):

In which Val’s cooly tubercular Doc Holiday utters the words that will one day grace the cover of his memoir (Tombstone):

In which Val’s Bruce Wayne tells Chris O’Donnell’s Dick Grayson that they are, actually, the same, owing to the fact that both of their families were killed by maniacs (Batman Forever):

In which Val’s one-eyed King Philip II of Macedon gives Colin Farrell’s Alexander a dope new moniker, and also threatens to kill him (Alexander):

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