MCC New York
Metropolitan Correctional Center
150 Park Row
New York, NY 10007
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Back soon
Date: 7/6/03
Rosie, you shouldnt have seen me like that. I hope your mom was able to pick you up from the station. I promise I will still take you to see that movie, what was it called again?
Remember this is your father were talking about. Whenver I say I will do something, I do it. Thats why Im in here, for you and your mom.
If you got questions make sure you ask me direct. I will be home soon. Tell your mom to call me.
Rosie, I love you and I miss you very much. I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
8/11/03
Papi, Grandma told me what happened. Why would they take you away for something someone else did? Ms. Grayson taught us about the Roman Empire last week and how they handled criminals. I hope this not what happens to you. I drew this for you, its us at soundview.
Love, roses
*
MCC New York
Metropolitan Correctional Center
150 Park Row
New York, NY 10007
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: I received your letter and I miss you
Date: 8/27/03
Rosie, I hope when you receive this letter that your doing good. As for me I am feeling good this week cuz your Tio came to visit. He is going to help figure things out.
Your drawing didnt make it to me mama. The guards dont let drawings in sometimes cuz they think they got secret messages in them.
Did Ms. Grayson teach you anything new? I don’t remember a lot about the Roman empire except the caliseeum.
It looks like its going to take a little bit longer for me to get home but soon. I remember the movie. Sinbad! Well go see Sinbad soon. Give a kiss to Grandma for me and tell her thank you for saying what she said.
Why isnt your mom calling me?
Rosie, I love you and I miss you very much. I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
9/13/03
Papi, I can only call you when I’m with Grandma. Mami says mean things about you but you can’t defend yourself because your not here. She says you are just like your father and Grandma doesn’t say nothing. I will defend you though. My favorite holiday is coming up, Halloween. Mami has been helping me work on my costume. Guess what Im going to be! (I was going to tell you right now but Grandma said surprises are good for letters.)
Questions are good too. Who did you dress up as for Halloween when you were my age? What was Grandpa like? When are you coming home soon? Be accurate.
Grandma said jokes help. Here is a joke. Why did the egg get thrown out of class? Because he kept telling yolks! I hope you laughed.
Love, roses
*
MCC New York
Metropolitan Correctional Center
150 Park Row
New York, NY 10007
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Halloween
Date: 10/26/03
Rosie, I hope when you receive this letter you are thinking of me. I am always thinking of you. I tried really hard to get this letter to you before Halloween, I hope it makes it.
I was the Lone Ranger when I was 12. He was a hero from a movie I saw growing up. Ask Grandma to show it to you sometime. I think youd like it.
Im going to guess you are a ballerina for Halloween, was I right?
Rosie, Ill talk to your mom but for right now, just make sure she is happy but dont let any other men in the house. If a new man you never met before comes into the apartment, ask him a lot of mean questions until he leaves. I protected your mom and always will.
I dont want to talk about my father. Dont ask Grandma either, it will make her upset. I am working really hard to be home soon, ask your Tio if he got that stuff I asked him for. When did you learn the word accurate? You a regular genius mama. Do you still want to be an astronaut when you grow up?
Your joke made me laugh, keep sending them. Rosie, I love you and I miss you very much.
I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
11/15/03
Papi, A BALLERINA! No Papi, I was a treasure hunter like Indiana Jones. Remember, we watched it together. You said it was your favorite. Maybe its not your favorite anymore.
You didnt say when your coming home. Everyone keeps asking Mami to be accurate but she says love and accurate are different. That’s why she doesn’t answer your calls. She says youre not ever coming home. Why did you lie to me?
Tio says you shouldn’t include me in the stuff. Come home already.
I dont want to be an astronaut anymore.
Love, Rosie
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: To explain
Date: 1/6/04
Rosie, I hope you are in good health and care. Things got very busy here during the holidays and I had to be transferred for how I acted. Its not my fault, they didnt let me right.
I was so happy to hear your voice last month. I know you werent happy with my answers but that was the honest to god truth. I would never lie to you.
Rosie, I want you to know that Im really proud of you, you make me happy to have a daughter like you, smart, funny, and quick with it, you get that last part from your mom. What was your favorite part of Christmas? Did you go see the train at the botantical garden yet?
I will right you back on time this time. I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
2/20/04
Papi, Happy Valentines Day. I love you very much, I drew a heart for you but Mami took it away. What do you eat there? Do you get to watch movies? My best friend Jenifer says jail food is like school lunch food, which is nasty.
Grandma says we can visit you soon but we have to take a bus for a long time. Do you get cold up there? Jenifer says upstate New York is where viejos go to die and criminals go to hide. I told her she doesnt know anything.
Mami says you left us like a punk, but I know running is different then hiding. What are you so afraid of Papi? Was Grandpa ever afraid?
Here is another joke: What did the calculator say to the other calculator? You can count on me!
Love, Rosie
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: I cant wait to see you
Date: 3/4/04
Rosie, tell your mom to stop running her mouth. Your friend Jenifer and her got a lot in common, they think they know about life but trust what I say too.
If your Tio calls me crazy, remember your father aint afraid of nothing. I always defend my family. Im not running or hiding, I am trying to get back to you. If that makes me the bad guy then it is what it is.
I told you to stop bringing up my father.
Don’t forget the date for the visit is March 28. We can talk inperson.
I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: To apologize
Date: 4/3/04
Rosie, I hope you are in good health and care. Please ask your Grandma to talk on the phone with me. I didnt wanna get heated during the visit but I told you your mom was a liar, she dont love you, if she did she would stay with me. And now your Tio is lying on me too and your Grandma is covering for him.
Heres a story about my father. When me and your Tio were kids my father would make us limber when he didnt have the words, I dont think you ever had it. Its a puerto rican ice cream popsicle, made outta coconut and vanilla than put in the freezer. We ate them in plastic cups on the stoop. When we finished he said, we good? And we nodded.
Everybody on the outside owes me a limber, you understand? I do what I say Imma do.
I love you very much mama. It wont happen again. Just please call me.
I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: A secret
Date: 5/7/04
Rosie, I hope when you receive this letter that your doing good. I am doing ok. Did you get my birthday card? Theres a dude in here who draws them for a good trade. Grandma sent me pictures from your birthday. Did Jenifer put that cake on your face? If shes the one on the left then she got those eyes, be careful round her. You look very happy though, Im glad.
Grandma told me what you said about visiting the prison for the first time. I was the same way when I got here. I promise it wont be like that the nex time. I have a secret for you. It helps me and it will help you. I hold something small in my hand, a button or a penny or a dice and squeeze it until it hurts. I let the thing hold what Im holding so Im free. Try it mama.
Please right me back. Im here waiting. I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Talk to me please
Date: 7/2/04
Rosie, I hope you are in good health and care. I am doing ok here. Im a little late but happy 8th grade graduation. How do you feel? What did you wear to your prom? What high school are you going to?
What movies have you watched lately? There are a lot of sequels coming out, but not enough new ideas. Hollywood is running outta fresh stuff.
It takes us awhile to get new movies in here but every now and then a bootleg comes through. We just watched The Butterfly Effect with the guy from Punkd. It wasnt a comedy but it was still really good. Watch it when you can and we can talk about it. Its all about second chances.
I miss you a lot mama. I can hear you in the background when Im talking to Grandma. Just let me say hello please.
I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Just checking in
Date: 5/29/05
Rosie, I hope you are well when you receive this letter from me. I am doing just fine. I wanted to congradualte you on finishing your first year of high school. That is a big accomplishment. Your father was always street smart so Im glad your book smart.
You dont have to right back. I appreciated the phone call we had even though it was shot. You dont have to worry about me, I am just happy to get updates. Grandma sends me pictures of you and god your hair is so long now. You look like JLo.
I dont know if anybody told you but the paperwork from Albany came back and they are going to let me have trailer visits soon. Basically you, Tio, and Grandma can come visit me for three days in a trailer that’s out on the prison grounds. I got it for good behavior. You can be proud of me. I can bring movies, games, and snacks. I checked and they have Indiana Jones!
I miss you very much.
One of my friends here told me a joke that I thought you like: How do you know a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds!
I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
9/2/05
Dear Papi,
Grandma told me to tell you I’m sorry I haven’t written to you. High school is overwhelming. I have a lot on my plate right now and you are asking a lot. Three days is too much school to miss.
JLo is a traitor who repped the Bronx when it was convenient for her and tossed us aside when she didn’t need us. She reminds me of too many people I know.
Love, Rosie
PS I asked Jaime a lot of questions like you told me to but he had a lot of good answers. He makes Mami very happy, not that you ever cared about that.
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Dont apologize
Date: 9/13/05
Dont apologize, you have nothing to be sorry about. We just gotta thank Grandma more.
I dont know who told you that stuff about JLo but she would never do that. She been about us since In Living Color. Your generation dont know about that.
Grandma and Tio are going to come on the first trailer visit next month, October 18, 19, 20. I hope you change your mind, then maybe we can celebrate Halloween early together.
Love, Papi
PS I will guess your costume right this time.
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
11/4/05
Dear Papi,
I’ve never seen Grandma smile like that before. She says I really missed out. She also couldn’t stop yelling THE ROOF, THE ROOF IS ON FIRE! after you guys watched Head of State. Tio said Bernie Mac is his favorite comedian now. Grandma says you asked a lot of questions, so here’s some answers.
I’m getting all A’s and made some cool friends this year. My favorite class is History because I like comparing the past to now. I also joined the movie club. Once a week after school we watch an hour of a movie and then discuss it with each other. We just watched Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. It was old but still really good. Have you seen it? I’m in debate club too and made it onto the JV soccer team. I’m learning how to do an inside touch scissor, its where you fake out a defender on the other team. My coach says I have fast feet and a good eye.
What movies have you seen lately? My favorite this year has been Batman Begins, it’s a really good new take on it.
Let me know when the next trailer visit is. Love, Rosie
PS There’s a hint in my letter for what my costume was.
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Happy new year
Date: 1/3/06
Rosie, I hope you are doing well when you receive this letter. I am doing fine. Your letter made me so happy. I wish I had a movie club in my high school. I have seen Psycho, Christian Bale does a really good job being creepy. I cant wait for us to get the Batman movie in here but it is going to take awhile. I will let you know when we get a copy.
I always knew you had fast feet mama. You got fast hands too. Remember when we would playbox when you were little? Grandma sent me some pictures of you playing! How was your Christmas? Did you do anything fun? Did you get to see Jenifer? Debate club! You get that smart mouth from your mom. I bet you won a few medals already huh?
I just heard back that you are in the system for the next trailer visit. I know Grandma wanted the February dates but I already got Valentine’s Day booked. I can explain inperson.
Our dates are for March 21, 22, 23. I dont think your Tio can make it so it will be just you, me, and Grandma. I am so excited to see you.
I am going to guess that you were the soccer girl from Bend it like Beckham for Halloween? I hope Im right.
I love you always, Papi xxxxxxx
PS Did you watch The Butterfly Effect yet?
*
Angelica Santos
593 Valentine Avenue
The Bronx, NY 10547
4/4/06
Dear Francisco,
Congratulations, you almost played me like you played Grandma. Thanks for waiting until the trailer visit to tell me the first thing you want to do when you get out is move to Florida with some woman I never met. What a fucking joke.
Nobody owes you a damn thing Francisco, not even the dude you shot. Not Grandma for trying her best to stop the infighting amongst us, not Tio for shutting down your dumbass prison break fantasies, and damn sure not Mami for not being a prison wife. Why do you think she makes me mail my letters from Grandma’s house? She doesn’t want you to know where she lives! She said in all this time you still haven’t changed.
I haven’t talked to Jenifer in years. You know why? Because I beat her ass when she started talking out the side of her mouth about you. I don’t like kid jokes anymore and I don’t just watch stupid action movies. Alfred Hitchcock is a famous director, he didn’t make American Psycho, he made Psycho. You would know that if you actually knew anything about movies. You would know what was happening with me if you weren’t stuck in jail. Maybe you would even think more about me if you weren’t so focused on starting a new family. And by the way, I lied during the visit, I was Batgirl for Halloween. Wrong again.
Do you know what I tell my friends at school about you? Nothing. I say that Jaime is my father.
You proud now? I’m a liar, just like you.
—Roselyn
PS Stop starting all your letters like a robot, WRITE like a normal fucking person.
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: Roselyn
From: Francisco
Reason: Since you dont answer the phone
Date: 4/28/06
Dear Rosie,
I tried to tell you during the visit that a man has certain needs. Youre to young to understand that. Me not being there is a chance for you to start over. Your mom got to start over. This is me starting over. Veronica writes me every day, visits me, cares about me. Not like you and Tio who I gotta beg to come see me.
But Im still your father, will always be your father, even when youre being an ungrateful fucking know it all. Youre not smart for knowing movies and how to write good and fancy soccer kicks. Youre a baby with no life experience just shit you heard from a book. You dont know what love or family actually means until you lose everything like me. You wont ever know what I done for you so just shut up and show some respect.
Write me back when you cooled yourself down.
—Francisco
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: Roselyn
From: Francisco
Reason: Dont do this again
Date: 7/4/06
Rosie, Im still hear waiting for you to answer me. Im ready to talk. I said my piece and now you gotta say yours, thats how adults do things. Stop acting like this, youre too old for all that. We are a family. Families fight but they also make up because were bigger than all that.
Listen to your Grandma if you wont listen to me. She knows whats best for the family, she knows whats best for the both of us.
Love, Papi
*
Coxsackie Correctional Facility
PO Box 999
Coxsackie, NY 12051-0999
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: Alone
Date: 4/15/08
Dear Rosie,
This book I been reading says we gotta make resolution with our past and focus on the future so here it is.
Grandma says you got your college acceptance letter on your birthday, that’s gotta be some kinda sign from above. I never heard of Bryn Mawr but she says its for really smart girls and that’s you mama. Congratulations. I’m starting a college program in here soon, maybe well graduate together.
I don’t know if Grandma told you but Veronica disappeared, stopped answering my letters and calls after she took my last name. Tio says she did it to get a new social security number. I don’t think Ill ever know for sure.
I messed up mama. Please talk to me so I can tell you I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. Tell me what I gotta do to hear from you mama, just tell me and Ill do it.
Love, Papi
*
FCI Otisville
Federal Correctional Institution
PO Box 1000
Otisville, NY 10963
Name: Francisco Santos
DIN: 14-C-2691
To: My Daughter Roselyn
From: Papi
Reason: The Butterfly Effect
Date: 5/22/11
Dear Roselyn,
Thank you and Tio for taking care of Grandma. I know she is hanging on and I hope she can hang on just a little longer for me to make it home, just six more months. She is strong, she can do it.
I need you to know that the week before I went in, my father called me. He heard I had a kid, and thought I could use a leg up. There was a dude in the neighborhood who owed him, said it was easy money. Your Grandpa was a ghost all my life. Nah, worse than a ghost because we remember them, like a memory pulled out your brain, gone. He wasn’t anything to me, but then suddenly he was, he was family.
I thought leaving on purpose and being forced to leave were different but they’re the same. They got the same effect.
Love, Papi
*
Roselyn Santos
101 N Merion Ave
Bryn Mawr, PA 19010
8/3/11
Dear Papi,
Tío told me that growing up he would say you could kill somebody and you’d still be her favorite. Now he knows for sure. Both of us told her to stop taking that long ass bus ride to see you when you canceled on her for Veronica, to stop calling you every day when all you did was talk shit about the rest of us, to stop putting you before the people who were actually in front of her. I hated you for the both of us because she wasn’t capable of it, the possibility never even crossed her mind.
I don’t know if that makes her the stupidest or the holiest woman on the planet. And I’m not stupid or holy but maybe I’m somewhere in between.
I’ve squeezed this penny in my fist until it bled but I can’t stop worrying about her. All I know is she wakes up every day in that hospital hoping you’re standing there.
You need to make it home, for her. Me and Tío will be there to pick you up.
Love, Roselyn
__________________________________
“This Time and the Next” first appeared in Michigan Quarterly Review. Copyright © 2025 by Noel Quiñones. Reprinted by permission of the author.
