The Morning Following the Discovery of the Affair

Hannah CALLS Trish

Hannah wakes up early and is immediately alert. From the apartment next door, she can hear a man’s muffled singing. “Pancho and Lefty”? “Candle in the Wind”? She dials Trish’s number.

Trish: It’s early. Are you okay?

Hannah: It’s six a.m. Yeah. It’s early. Do you have a minute?

Trish: You’re in the city, right? I’ll see you tonight, right?

Hannah: Can I ask you something?

Trish: Your book launch party is tonight, isn’t it? I have the best outfit.

Hannah: Quick question.

Trish: Is everything okay? You sound distracted.

Hannah: Maybe so. I’m concerned about Patrick.

Trish: You are?

Hannah: I am.

Trish: Why? Has something happened to him?

Hannah: Do you think something has happened to him?

Trish: Like what?

Hannah: I think something really bad has happened to him.

Trish: Oh my god.

Hannah: I think he had sex with someone.

Trish: You do?

Hannah: Yeah.

Trish: Why do you think that?

Hannah: I think he had sex with you.

Trish: That’s crazy.

Hannah: Did you have sex with him?

Trish: —

Hannah: Hello?

Trish: —

Hannah: Can you hear me?

Trish: This is probably a conversation you should be having with your husband.

Hannah: Please don’t use that word with me.

Trish: What word?

Hannah: ‘Husband.’ Are you going to answer my question?

Trish: You should talk to Patrick.

Hannah: I’m hanging up.

Trish: He told me you’ve always been jealous of me.

Hannah: It’s just like him to get a word wrong. You’ll figure that out soon enough. He’s smart but not that smart. He’s sloppy with language.

Trish: He says you’ve always been terrified of this happening.

Hannah: His memory is even lousier than his vocabulary. I’ve never trusted you. Not trusting a person is different from being jealous.

Trish: I think he did this on purpose. To drive a wedge between us.

Hannah: I feel sorry for you.

Trish: He’s a dick.

Hannah: You’re playing this all wrong.

Trish: I’m not playing.

Hannah: Thank you for your honesty. I appreciate you telling me the truth.

Trish: Do you want me to have him call you?

Hannah: I’m hanging up for real now.

*

Several hours later: A phone call from Patrick

It’s early afternoon. Hannah is alone in Hugh’s apartment. She feels like a caged animal, pacing and sitting and pacing again, but she knows better than to be caught off guard and in public when Patrick finally calls, which he ultimately does sometime after lunch.

Patrick: So?

Hannah: You sound angry.

Patrick: You talked to Trish?

Hannah: It’s funny that you sound angry. It’s also funny that you sound like you just woke up. It’s noon. It’s past noon.

Patrick: And?

Hannah: How hungover are you?

Patrick: That’s your question?

Hannah: Are you even writing up there? Are you doing any- thing besides drinking?

Patrick: Fuck you.

Hannah: You had sex with Trish?

Patrick: Yes.

Hannah: More than once?

Patrick: Yes.

Hannah: And you think you’re in love?

Patrick: It’s confusing.

Hannah: Thank you for your honesty. I get the house. I get the car. I get the dog. I’ll see a lawyer on Monday.

Patrick: Did you rehearse that?

Hannah: I didn’t. But it’s good, isn’t it? I expected to be flus- tered, but I’m feeling pretty clearheaded at the moment.

Patrick: We’re not going to talk about this?

Hannah: Did you have sex with Trish?

Patrick: I told you.

Hannah: House, car, dog. All mine. Lawyer on Monday.

Patrick: Fine, then. We can talk about this when I come home.

Hannah: Home? Home?

Patrick: My home. Our home.

Hannah: You don’t have a home anymore.

Patrick: Don’t be dramatic. We have a dog!

Hannah: I have a dog.

Patrick: You didn’t even want to get Elmer!

Hannah: I can’t sleep without him.

Patrick: Oh, please.

Hannah: Elmer stays with me.

Patrick: What about the car?

Hannah: My car. Dear god, I wish I were recording this. It’s going so well.

Patrick: This is just like you.

Hannah: What did you expect?

Patrick: I thought you’d fight. I thought you’d cry.

Hannah: There are like nine million women you could have had sex with, and we would have worked it out. Cindy in Philosophy. Nancy in Geography. Nine million and twenty-nine women. One billion women. But I’ve made it incredibly clear from the beginning that there is one woman who is off-limits.

Patrick: You’re so self-righteous. It’s disgusting.

Hannah: I won’t have sex with a man who’s had sex with Trish. And that doesn’t mean I’m jealous of her. It just means I don’t trust her.

Patrick: You’re an asshole.

Hannah: Get a lawyer.

*

Patrick CALLS Trish

Trish has taken the day off from work. Patrick is shaken and confused and feels also as though he’s isolated from the center of the action, which to his mind is in New York City, which is where his wife and his girlfriend happen to be. He doesn’t like their propinquity. He doesn’t like how far away he is from either of them.

Patrick: I’m coming to New York.

Trish: Good.

Patrick: I’m leaving this awful place. They’re all frauds up here. I need to see you.

Trish: Yes! I need to see you, too.

Patrick: I need to figure this out.

Trish: Yes.

Patrick: Can I stay with you?

Trish: Of course.

Patrick: Did you tell George?

Trish: I did.

Patrick: What did he say?

Trish: He hung up. He didn’t believe me at first, and then he hung up. He’s probably talking to Hannah now.

Patrick: Should I call him?

Trish: Give him time. He’ll come around. They both will. P

atrick: I don’t think so. Hannah’s mad.

Trish: She’ll get over it.

Patrick: She says she’s seeing a lawyer on Monday. Don’t you think that’s fast?

Trish: I think it’s good.

Patrick: Divorce, though? It feels sudden.

Trish: Do you love me?

Patrick: I think so.

Trish: You think so?

Patrick: I feel muddled.

Trish: We just blew up our lives. You don’t get to feel muddled.

Patrick: I’m going to the train station now.

Trish: Good.

Patrick: I need a drink.

Trish: Wait until you get here.

Patrick: I need something to clear my head.

______________________________

From We Are Too Many: A Memoir (Kind Of). Used with the permission of the publisher, Holt. Copyright © 2023 by Hannah Pittard.