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The first lines of classic novels as Democratic fundraising email subject lines.

Jessie Gaynor

November 7, 2022, 1:33pm

In honor of tomorrow’s US midterm elections (NB: please vote), I present: a little literary inspiration for the tireless Democratic party email scribes.

Moby-Dick
This is important, Ishmael.

Mrs Dalloway
Mrs Dalloway said she would FUND the GOP HERSELF.

David Copperfield
Whether you will turn out to be a HERO for your party, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, YOUR DONATION WILL SHOW.

The Trial
🚨 THIS IS THE NEW NORMAL: Somebody must have slandered Joseph K., for one morning, without having done anything wrong, he was arrested. 🚨

1984
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” WHAT???

Swann’s Way
Friend, the stakes are too high to go to bed early.

Charlotte’s Web
Where’s Mitch going with that ax???

Fahrenheit 451
SHAMEFUL: IT WAS A PLEASURE TO BURN DEMOCRACY?

Gravity’s Rainbow
A BEGGING came across your inbox.

Invisible Man
Am I an INVISIBLE MAN? (Humbly asking for $26)

Lolita
Nevada, light of my life, fire of my loins. My Senate, my soul. Ne-vah-da.

Beloved
538 was spiteful. Full of MANIPULATED POLLING DATA.

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