Ten books from The Simpsons Library I would like to read.

Though I haven’t kept up with later seasons, probably 50% of my sense of humor is based on The Simpsons, which was daily viewing in my house from the ages of about six to sixteen. Looking through the Simpsons Library Instagram account, which features all the books, magazines, and text objects featured on the show, is not only a pleasant nostalgia trip, but also an exercise in fantasy browsing. Hey, if we have movie franchises based on board games, so why can we not have one book series based on a split-second visual gag? (Just kidding, publishers. I don’t want that. Truly.)

 

Love in the Time of Scurvy

Gabriel García Márquez meets Harlequin pirate romance? Sold in the room!

 

99 Hilarious Phone Messages

If you can resist a several-decades-out-of-date novelty book, you’re a better woman than I.

 

Greatest Sports Injuries

Okay, this is a dark one, but I can admit that when I read Chris Bachelder’s excellent The Throwback Special I definitely went down a Wikipedia rabbit hole of football injuries. Gross and ghoulish? Definitely. But sometimes that makes for the best books!

 

Who Made That Barrel? You Did!

It’s only a matter of time before coopers are the hottest new variety of rustic lifestyle influencer, and I, for one, intend to be ready.

 

How to Read a Book in Bed

What’s the best book position? Should I invest in a clip-on light? How do I avoid the all-too common “book falls on my face as I nod off and now I’m awake again and my face hurts” pitfall? I need answers!

 

Owning Your Okayness

Absolutely without irony: This is the self-help book the world needs.

 

American Poetry Perspectives: Howling at a Concrete Moon

Honestly, this one might be real.

 

Zagat’s Guide to World Religions

I just want to know what rating Catholicism’s decor got.

 

Recipes to Think About in Bed

This is probably a joke about the drudgery of Marge’s life, but guess what: thinking about recipes is a very nice way to unwind! I’m thinking about this chocolate babka right now and I feel great!

 

Gentle Tales for Good Boys

The book of 2021.

[h/t Kottke]