Rejected pitches for the live-action Eloise.

Eloise, the OG enfant terrible best known for causing mayhem at the Plaza Hotel, is getting a live adaptation. And an unlikely duo is behind it: Ryan Reynolds and Amy Sherman-Palladino, of Deadpool and Gilmore Girls, respectively.

The beloved 50s children’s series wasn’t exactly screaming for the IRL treatment. Thanks to Hillary Knight’s illustrations, the world’s luckiest latchkey kid lives forever in ink. Still, I’m intrigued to see what America’s deadbeat uncle and America’s kooky aunt will do with the source text.

As the new film’s log-line is currently under wraps—all we know is that Ryan Reynolds will play a mysterious, off-canon villain—here are some pitches. Your move, Hollywood.

1. Eloise: Brat Summer

In this riches-to-rags spin, Eloise and Nanny are forced to relocate from the penthouse while the Plaza undergoes a massive makeover. (Fun fact: this really happened, in 2005!) When E’s offstage mother reveals her cash flow is tied up in what sounds an awful lot like a skincare pyramid scheme, the family is forced to rough it as guests of Nanny’s nephew…in Bushwick. 

Without the elevator, room service, and staff to terrorize, will Eloise survive? And how will her antics—like that game where she takes “two sticks and skidder[s] them along the walls”—go over with her Zillennial roommates?

Expect micro-cultural collisions and unlikely collabs as this spoiled child discovers there are other Main Characters. They just live in the outer boroughs.

2. Eloise: Before Magic Hour

After a skirmish with René over breakfast fixings, our impetuous hero stages a runaway. (For attention.) But as soon as she loses sight of Columbus Circle, Eloise is ultra lost.

This time-bound picaresque follows our hero through a single day of city life. She pillages F.A.O. Schwartz. Then befriends a pigeon that may or may not be the one that’s always cooing outside the bathroom window. Outside the Carlyle, she comforts a bride with cold feet, inadvertently urging her towards a life of glamorous independence. And in Central Park, she observes nannies—other nannies!—harrying over their charges, and feels something like empathy for the guardian she takes for granted.

Will all these moments build to a realization? “Eloise, you are in context?” Only Magic Hour will tell. Framed in B plot by a hapless chase led by Ryan Reynolds, the bumbling, child-hating beat cop commissioned to find the Plaza’s It girl, this sweet day-in-the-life story is a Linklater-y love letter to uptown.

3. Eloise in Vegas: Bling Ring Edition

We know Eloise has been to Paris, and Moscow, and Christmas. This spin also finds her out of usual context. And where better to contrast our hero’s love of old world, old money aesthetics with the gauche American nouveau?

Summoned to Vegas to see her mother ace a last minute cover for Cher’s usual slot at the Sphere—in meta-textual nods to Kay Thompson’s own singing career, and Eloise’s inspiration—Eloise and Nanny unload at The Venetian. When Eloise gets tapped to play a role in a heist, all amount of casino-based hijinks ensue. And meanwhile in the B plot, Nanny’s long dormant gambling addiction resurfaces, thanks to the glare off the slots.

Will Eloise get caught holding the bag, and spend her adolescence in Nevada juvie? Will Nanny win big, or lose the farm? Will Cher get over her vocal nodes??? This high-octane social critique explores the underside of decadence. I’m thinking Sofia Coppola, to direct.

4. Eloise in Paris, Redux: The White Lotus

Here’s a compound crossover that simply writes itself. Imagine what trouble Eloise could make for the idle rich of the French Riviera. What murders or affairs might she witness? What hapless, striving hotel manager might she be the ruin of?

In this one, I see love for Nanny. But if Mike White has anything to do with it, that love will be forbidden and creepy, somehow.

Amy? Ryan? Netflix? You’re welcome. I await the meetings. In the meantime—sail on, city child.