My Cherished Friend, My Cursed Rival: On the Perils of Literary Envy

In my opinion, the only thing that can keep author sane through the surreal highs and soul-destroying lows of a career is the camaraderie and support of your fellow authors. So, like any reasonable person who knows better than to share her real opinions on social media, I have several group chats going with other writers. I truly do not know how I’d survive without them.

However, it’s a rare day in the group chat that everyone is having a good time at the same time. One person might be celebrating newfound bestseller status while another is reeling from a bad review. Logically, we know other authors are our colleagues, not our competition.

But we can all be a little competitive sometimes, and celebrating someone else’s success when your career is on a downswing is tough. For that matter, so is sharing good news when you know your friends are struggling.

As the legendary Margaret Atwood (can you imagine being in her group chat?) said in a recent NPR interview, “You make a big success and then your friends divide into, like the Red Sea, people who can handle it and people who can’t handle it. And you find that out pretty quickly.”

So what’s the secret to being one of the elite few who can handle it? Don’t try to deny your envy. Embrace it. Be happy for your friends and jealous of them at the same time.

In my latest novel, The Favorites, I wanted to write about this dynamic in a way I haven’t seen much in fiction. My champion ice dancer heroines Katarina and Bella both want to win, and they aren’t shy about saying so.

They aren’t your typical cutthroat frenemies, though. Sure, there’s some sabotage and drama (I mean, it is a figure skating saga loosely based on Wuthering Heights.…), but through it all the two women celebrate their mutual ambitions and drive each other to keep leveling up. Together, they reach greater heights than they could ever have alone.

That, in my experience, is the best part of cultivating friendships with your professional rivals: instead of wasting your energy gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing, you can all pool resources and push one another to succeed.

When I was struggling to finish The Favorites, despairing over whether I’d ever be published again, an author friend shared details about the deal she’d gotten for her most recent book. Did I burn with jealousy when I heard that eye-popping advance amount? Absolutely.

But I was also thrilled for her—she’s one of the hardest-working people I’ve ever met, and she’d poured her whole heart and soul into that project. Plus, I knew she wasn’t telling me about her good fortune to rub it in my face. She was trying to inspire me, and she did. We had similar publishing histories, so if she’d gotten an advance with all those zeros, that meant I could too.

Eventually it came time to negotiate my next book deal, and having the inside scoop on hers gave me the guts to ask the publisher for way more than I would’ve otherwise. Knowledge is power, and almost everything I know about the publishing industry, I’ve learned from other authors who’ve been generous with their time and expertise.

I’ve made a point of paying it forward by being equally candid, and I sincerely hope it will pay off (literally and figuratively!) for my friends in the future.

The complex friendship in The Favorites also follows the example of two women who I consider the gold standard for balancing friendship and professional rivalry: Olympic ice dancers Madison Hubbell and Gabriella Papadakis. Hubbell and Papadakis trained together for years at the world-renowned Ice Academy of Montreal, sharing coaches and choreographers, spending downtime together, even doing photoshoots as a duo.

When it was time to compete, though, they were both ruthlessly determined to stand on top of the podium. (There’s certainly plenty to stress about in the publishing industry, but at least authors aren’t vying for a single gold medal every four years!)

As Hubbell put it in an Olympic Channel docuseries chronicling their preparation for the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, “There is something very special about having the sportsmanship to cheer on your toughest competition at the same time as being driven to beat them.”

Ultimately, Gabriella and her partner Guillaume Cizeron were the ones who got the gold in Beijing, while Madison and her partner Zachary Donohue won bronze. Since the Games, both Madison and Gabriella have retired from the sport, but their friendship remains strong.

They’ve even been skating together, developing some of the most stunning choreography I’ve ever seen on the ice. They both achieved incredible feats during their athletic careers, and it was because of their fierce and friendly rivalry, not in spite of it.

Authors may be the furthest thing from Olympic athletes—unless reheating the coffee mug you forgot about for the twelfth time was an Olympic sport, then I’d have a real shot at the gold! But we can still practice good sportsmanship, by holding space for envy and competitiveness to coexist with genuine love and support.

Professional jealousy isn’t a scary, shameful feeling to be pushed down at all costs. It’s a compass, pointing the way to what you really want—the dreams so big and bold they feel daunting to admit, even to yourself.

After all, if someone else has achieved the thing you’re striving for, whether it’s a gold medal or a splashy publishing deal, that’s just proof that it’s possible.

So celebrate other people’s wins, especially if you wish they were yours. Maybe someday they will be—but if not, at least you’ll have true friends to commiserate with in the group chat.

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The Favorites by Layne Fargo is available via Random House.