More Than a Subplot: Five Novels That Explore and Center Female Friendship

In life and in books, people with best friends seem to have more fun than those without.

In my twenties I chased the thrill of a big sweeping romance, and my reading taste reflected the same. From tender-hearted happily-ever-afters, to finding the peak book boyfriend; a good romance novel was my ultimate read.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to pay more attention to the female friendships in books, which at least in romances, are usually nothing more than sub plots: the voice of reason in the narrator’s ear, the protagonist’s sounding board, or a necessary distraction from the heartache of the ensuing love story. It is, however, these friendships that have the more real-life appeal for me now.

A platonic female friendship comes without the baggage of sex, parenthood, or a mortgage. The companionship of a reliable female confidante seems far more likely to survive the test of time than settling with a romantic partner where the story arc was based purely on sexual chemistry.

But the usual romance tropes could apply to stories of friendship too: Enemies to Friends, Forced Proximity, Friendship Triangle, Second Chance, Opposites Attract, Office Friendship, Grump and Sunshine, Friends at First Sight. A connection between two women, based on mutual respect and similar goals, is something more believable and achievable in the real world.

I’m in my thirties now, married with a kid. It is this particular kind of kinship that intrigues me; finding the right set of women to surround myself with.

Making friends feels a lot like dating. There are misunderstandings, missed connections, ghostings, coming on too strong. And finally, the joyful denouement of finding the friendships that become integral to life. What I need now is an Emily Henry for female friendships.

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Elena Ferrante, My Brilliant Friend

Set in post-war Naples, this modern masterpiece is the perfect example of the female friendship novel. Romance, politics, motherhood are themes that play in the backdrop, while putting the friendship between Elena and Lila centerstage.

Their shared story begins from age six all the way into adulthood, while they battle social prejudice and life’s many roadblocks. Their relationship evolves through the years, survives despite the rivalry, and is built on the foundations of deep affection.

It is one of those books that I believe will affect me differently every time I read it, depending on which phase my own life is in.

Catherine Newman, We All Want Impossible Things

 The forty-year friendship between Edi and Ash is the kind of relationship we all want at death’s door. If terminal cancer is the diagnosis I am saddled with, as Edi is given in this book, then I want an Ash by my bedside.

To bring the memories, humor and eccentricity. My family will grieve with me, but I hope I have a best friend there to make me laugh and remind me of a lifetime of inside jokes.

In this book, Newman successfully captures the essence of what true friendship looks like, and she made me laugh out loud and sob in the same paragraph. An emotional release no romance novel has been able to achieve.

RF Kuang, Yellowface

 In most romances, the bad boy is desirable, a part of the fantasy. In books about friendship, the bad girl is someone you have your guard up against. This is a far more realistic lesson to learn from a book, than pining for a soulmate who will probably never meet all your emotional needs.

In Yellowface, June and Athena, both aspiring writers, have been friends since college. Their friendship is based on intense rivalry and envy, and their dynamic felt so real while I read this book, that it seemed like only a heightened version of what most women have experienced in their own lives with their female friends.

There is something delicious about rooting for the un-happy ending of all the characters in a book.

Sally Rooney, Conversations with Friends

Despite its title, this is one of those books that saddles the fence between a romance and a friendship novel. While the plot seems to center around college student Frances’ affair with married man Nick, I was more interested in her relationship with best friend Bobbi.

The plot is further complicated by the fact that Frances and Bobbi used to be lovers, but this was the dynamic that kept me most engaged. Something a lot of readers experience after reading any of Rooney’s work is: seen, which this novel in particular seems to effortlessly achieve.

I believe this has less to do with Frances’ affair with a married man, and more to do with her complex friendship with Bobbi.

Kristin Hannah, Firefly Lane

Kate and Tully’s friendship is the central plot of this rare kind of novel, and has the same emotional bulk of any romance drama. There is joy and heartache, loss and betrayal. A journey that takes us through the lives of these two women over three decades.

For me, this was an accurate depiction of friendship, the kind all of us would be blessed to have. Many non-romances have historically been marketed as coming-of-age novels, which they surely are, but like this book, it might be time now to give them the pride of place as a female friendship novel. A genre all to itself.

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I Will Blossom Anyway by Disha Bose is available via Ballantine Books.