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James Patterson’s old book commercials are pure comic genius.

Emily Temple

April 6, 2020, 10:40am

Bestselling novelist, friend to booksellers, and America’s highest-paid author James Patterson is . . . kind of a kidder. Case in point: these increasingly ludicrous TV spots he has recorded to promote his books over the years. And yes, these originally aired on TV. As one of our editors put it, “you’d just be watching Seinfeld and one of these would come on.” Different times, my friends. Here are just a few of my favorites—though watch with caution, lest  “I’m James Patterson” be stuck in your head for days.


Well-kept, very sexy secret:


Complete with props:


Get it?:




Not even trying:

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