If They Gave Oscars to Books, Our 2019 Nominees

The Academy Awards approach. And so, as we’ve done for the past three years, we have been preparing for the Fake Oscars by thinking about the Real Oscars: that’s right, the Book Oscars. Er, the Book Oscars that aren’t the National Book Awards. You can wear a gown to the National Book Awards. But you know what, you can also wear a gown to reading this internet article. You do you.

So what would the categories look like if they applied to books and not films? And which books would win under said invented circumstances? Those burning questions and more are answered below. Be warned in advance that this list will be just as incomplete as any—though it is significantly less white and male than the Oscars. (Low bar, I know.) Still, feel free to shout out your favorite publicist or literary citizen in the comments!

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Best Novel (Best Picture)

Sally Rooney, Normal People

Colson Whitehead, The Nickel Boys

Lucy Ellmann, Ducks, Newburyport

Elizabeth Strout, Olive, Again

Susan Choi, Trust Exercise

Ben Lerner, The Topeka School

Téa Obreht, Inland

Miriam Toews, Women Talking

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Literary Citizen (Actor in a Leading Role)

Patrice Caldwell, founder and fundraising chair of People of Color in Publishing

T Kira Madden, memoirist, founding editor of No Tokens and general voice of reason

Noname, founder of Noname’s Book Club

Emily Gale, YA author and leader of #AuthorsForFireys

Everyone who is not on Twitter

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Best Debut Novels (Actor in a Supporting Role)

Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Fleishman Is In Trouble

Julia Phillips, Disappearing Earth

Chia-Chia Lin, The Unpassing

Sophie Mackintosh, The Water Cure

Lauren Wilkinson, American Spy

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Best YA Novel (Animated Feature Film)

Elizabeth Acevedo, With the Fire on High

Randy Ribay, Patron Saints of Nothing

Brittany Cavallaro and Emily Henry, Hello Girls

Akwaeke Emezi, Pet

Courtney Summers, Sadie

Tehlor Kay Mejia, We Set the Dark on Fire

Justin A. Reynolds, The Opposite of Always

Evelyn Skye, Circle of Shadows

Rory Powers, Wilder Girls

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Best Setting (Cinematography)

Miriam Toews, Women Talking (the Molotscha Colony, Bolivia)

Julia Phillips, Disappearing Earth (the Kamchatka Peninsula)

Lara Prior-Palmer, Rough Magic (the Mongolian steppe)

Ben Lerner, The Topeka School (Kansas)

Marlon James, Black Leopard Red Wolf (maybe the opposite of Kansas)

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Best Book Jacket Design (Costume Design)

Yoko Ogawa, The Memory Police, design by Tyler Comrie

Adam Ehrlich Sachs, The Organs os Sense, design by Alex Merto

Myla Goldberg, Feast Your Eyes, design by Lauren Peters-Collaer

Reginald Dwayne Betts, Felon, design by Sarahmay Wilkinson, art by Titus Kaphar

Tegan & Sara, High School, design by Na Kim

Regina Porter, The Travelers, design by Michael Morris

Dunya Mikhail, In Her Feminine Sign, design by Janet Hansen

Jac Jemc, False Bingo, design by June Park

Angie Cruz, Dominicana, design by Adalis Martinez

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Best Work of Nonfiction (Documentary—Feature)

Sarah M. Broom, The Yellow House

Patrick Radden Keefe, Say Nothing

Lisa Taddeo, Three Women

Robert Macfarlane, Underland

Chanel Miller, Know My Name

Jenny Odell, How to Do Nothing

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Best Essay Collection (Documentary—Short Subject)

Jia Tolentino, Trick Mirror

Esmé Weijun Wang, The Collected Schizophrenias

Rachel Cusk, Coventry

Ross Gay, The Book of Delights

Lydia Davis, Essays: One

Margaret Renkl, Late Migrations: A Natural History of Love and Loss

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Best Work of Experimental Literature (Film Editing)

Lucy Ellmann, Ducks, Newburyport

Bernardine Evaristo, Girl, Woman, Other

Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

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Best Book in Translation (Foreign Language Film)

Maria Gainza, tr. Thomas Bunstead, Optic Nerve

Yūko Tsushima, tr. Geraldine Harcourt, Territory of Light

Philippe Lançon, tr. Steven Rendall, Disturbance

Olga Tokarczuk, tr. Antonia Lloyd-Jones, Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead

Niklas Natt och Dag, tr. Ebba Segerberg, The Wolf and the Watchman

Rudolph Herzog, tr. Emma Rault, Ghosts of Berlin 

Naja Marie Aidt, tr. Denise Newman, When Death Takes Something From You, Give it Back

Yoko Ogawa, tr. Stephen Snyder, The Memory Police

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Coolest Publicity Squad (Production Design)

Little, Brown

Coffee House

FSG

Ecco

Counterpoint

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Best Picture Book (Short Film—Animated)

Sven Volker, A Million Dots

Christian Robinson, Another

Beatrice Alemagna, Child of Glass

Kwame Alexander, illus. Kadir Nelson, The Undefeated

Jin Xiaojing, I Miss My Grandpa

Isabel Quintero, illus. Zeke Peña, My Papi Has a Motorcycle

Sydney Smith, Small in the City

Shinsuke Yoshitake, The Boring Book

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Best Short Story Collection (Short Film—Live Action)

Bryan Washington, Lot: Stories

Zadie Smith, Grand Union

Amy Hempel, Sing to It

Ted Chiang, Exhalation

Karen Russell, Orange World and Other Stories

Kimberly King Parsons, Black Light

Kali Fajardo-Anstine, Sabrina & Corina

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Best Graphic Novel or Work of Graphic Nonfiction (Visual Effects)

Mira Jacob, Good Talk

Diane Noomin, ed., Drawing Power

Chris Ware, Rusty Brown

Seth, Clyde Fans

Lynda Barry, Making Comics

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Best Work of SF/Fantasy/Speculative Fiction (Makeup and Hairstyling)

Leigh Bardugo, Ninth House

Sandra Newman, The Heavens

Claire North, The Gameshouse

Marlon James, Black Leopard Red Wolf

Yoko Ogawa, tr. Stephen Snyder, The Memory Police

Silvia Moreno-Garcia, Gods of Jade and Shadow

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Best Book of Poetry (Sound Editing and Sound Mixing)

Ilya Kaminsky, Deaf Republic

Jericho Brown, The Tradition

Franny Choi, Soft Science

Hanif Abdurraqib, A Fortune for Your Disaster

Fred Moten, All That Beauty

Jake Skeets, Eyes Bottle Dark with a Mouthful of Flowers