Has Our Thinking About Regret Been All Wrong?

In this episode of Just the Right Book with Roxanne Coady, Daniel Pink joins Roxanne Coady to discuss his latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, out now from Riverhead Books.

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From the episode: 

Daniel Pink: I am definitely a person without a “no regrets” tattoo. I do not have that. I can say that without equivocation. However, I have been the person who has been tormented by the many tentacled monster at night, but I’ve gotten better at dealing with that because of writing this book.

We’re better with regrets. Because regrets help us if we treat them right. Regrets lead to learning. They lead to growth. They clarify our values. And what’s confusing, I think for people, is that regret is unpleasant. I don’t like experiencing regret. I don’t enjoy it. And yet we know from 50 years of science that this emotion is ubiquitous in the human experience. It’s one of the most common emotions that we experience. It’s arguably the most common negative emotion that human beings experience. And yet it’s unpleasant. So, that to me, that creates a little bit of a puzzle. What’s the point then? Is there a wiring problem in our brains and our bodies and our souls? No, it’s not. It’s actually a wiring advantage.

Our cognitive machinery is program for regret because if we treat it right, it helps us learn. It helps us grow at a more reductive level. IIf we treat it right, it can help us become better negotiators, better strategist, better problem solvers, better parents, better meaning finders. And so it exists for a reason, if we treat it right.

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Daniel H. Pink is the author of several books including the New York Times bestsellers When, Drive, To Sell Is Human, and A Whole New Mind. His books have won multiple awards and have been translated into more than 40 languages. He lives with his family in Washington, D.C.

Roxanne Coady is owner of R.J. Julia, one of the leading independent booksellers in the United States, which—since 1990—has been a community resource not only for books, but for the exchange of ideas. In 1998, Coady founded Read To Grow, which provides books for newborns and children and encourages parents to read to their children from birth. RTG has distributed over 1.5 million books.