Free IP! Ideal candidates for the next Richard Linklater biopic.

The Texas filmmaker Richard Linklater has built much of his legacy on homage. His love runs deep, but narrow. He cares especially for the layabouts, the cranks, and the iconoclasts. From masquerading hit-men to opportunistic funeral directors, from Orson Welles to Lorenz Hart, a Linklater hero is always an operator. No matter how small or large his stage.

Given world enough and time, I wonder—how many more real live oddballs could the people’s auteur commit to celluloid? Assuming a billion, I’ve assembled some pitches. I figure a perfect Linklater subject must meet certain criteria. She’s gotta be poignant, cranky, a little esoteric, and come with a built-in case for a cool soundtrack. Bonus points if there’s a role for a usual suspect.

Pauline Kael

Pauline Kael, the famous critic/contrarian, was herself a Linklater fan. And she adored the French New Wave—just like you, Rich. For this one? I’m picturing another chamber piece, in the Blue Moon vein. You could depict the hours after Kael was fired from McCall’s for panning The Sound of Music, in a pettier spin on Cléo from 5 to 7.

Cate Blanchett could dust off the wig from your (misunderstood) Where’d You Go, Bernadette? (2019) and do this one in her sleep.

Mike Piazza

Link, your baseball fetish is well documented, in coming-of-age hits like Dazed and Confused and Everybody Wants Some!! Isn’t it high time for a baller’s biopic?

Mike Piazza, one-time rookie of the year and feted subject of a Belle and Sebastian ballad, feels like as good a first baseman as any for your royal treatment. To star, I nominate Ryan Guzman, who charmed us all in your last love letter to welcome week.

D.B. Cooper

Now this just writes itself, Rich. And it’s got wheelhouse written all over it. We’ve got weird crime, the triumph of an oddball, and a great role for a preferred collaborator.

Look me in the eye and say you wouldn’t like to see Jack Black play the infamous sky thief. (And maybe Glen Powell’s the all-American, easily duped Captain?!)

Florence Ballard

If the upcoming Merrily We Roll Along is anything to go by, you are a not-so-secret musical theatre dork, Rich. Don’t fight it! And boy, have I got a subject for you.

Florence Ballard, the founding Supreme whose pipes were famously checked in the musical Dreamgirls, is a perfect subject. For starters, she was a very poignant figure. A genius, trapped in a relationship to an abusive husband—another recurring Link motif—she fought for recognition and royalties all her life.

I’d like to see Da’Vine Joy Randolph play this part. And based on her deft turn in The Holdovers, I think you two would get along.

John Reed & Pancho Villa

Here’s a pitch, Rich: a real time talkie replicating a famous interview between a Mexican revolutionary and a Commie American journalist. Before you get on your history horse, hear me out.

In this encounter, I see room to explore some of your favorite themes (rebellion, idealism) via a favorite structure (vibey, aimless chat). And for the leads? I suspect you could do better by Roland Ruiz, the grateful gardener in Boyhood. And speaking of your stable? Wyatt Russell, who charmed us in Everybody Wants Some!!, has a Reed-y aspect.

Townes van Zandt

This one’s so low-hanging you’ve probably got it in the pipeline already. But Townes van Zandt, the wayward father of Americana, is a perfect Linklater subject. Let’s go through the checklist. 1) Extremely poignant (tragic life). 2) Extremely musical (duh). And 3) extremely Texan, which I know you’ll appreciate. There’s also a role in here that your pal Ethan would kill for. Just gotta hurry.

Dear Rich, I know you have no plans to stop making arty, off-the-beaten-path biopics. IMDB reports two more in your pipeline—one about 20th century con man John Brinkley, and another about the late satirist, Bill Hicks.

But when those are done? Have your people call mine.

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