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Famous novels, if they were Hallmark Christmas Movies.

Jessie Gaynor

December 1, 2021, 10:00am

It’s that time of year again! No, not Christmas time, but Hallmark Christmas movie time. There’s nothing like two hours of G-rated, ambiguously Christian entertainment to get you into the holiday spirit. Of course, if you prefer classic literature to Candace Cameron-Bure, I’m here to help. This Christmas, you can have it all!

The Road, or Man and Boy’s Christmas Journey
After the death of his wife, the total destruction of society, and the rise of marauding cannibal gangs, the man isn’t sure there’s any way to give the boy a magical Christmas. But when the boy decides to share their food with a kindly old man, they all learn that when it comes to the holiday season, the journey is more important than the destination.

My Year of Rest and Relaxation, or The Christmas Nap
All the unnamed narrator wants for Christmas is… a good, long nap! But when a friend needs help, the narrator must decide whether to be a Grinch… or an angel in disguise.

The Great Gatsby, or Santa’s Coming to West Egg
Jay has lost the love of his life, Daisy, and Daisy has lost the holiday spirit. In order to win her back, Jay must throw the greatest Christmas party West Egg has ever seen.

A Little Life, or Healed for the Holidays
Jude has always hated the holidays, but his friends have never understood why! Can they figure it out before Christmas arrives—and time runs out?

Invisible Man, or Won’t You Light My Bunker Tonight
The unnamed narrator is determined to win the annual holiday lights contest. Will 1,369 bulbs be enough to take the grand prize… and make him visible to the girl of his dreams?

Madame Bovary, or A Very Merry Affair
When Charles surprises Emma with a move to a Christmas-loving town, Emma isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to fit in. But when the couple attends a fancy holiday ball, Emma finds the Christmas spirit she’s been missing.

The Catcher in the Rye, or A Gift for Phoebe
Holden is running out of time to find the perfect Christmas present for his sister. With the help of a friendly nun and his brother’s ghost, he must travel through the city trying to find a gift she’s sure to love. On top of it all, Holden is in danger of being expelled from school for his lack of holiday cheer! Can Holden learn the true meaning of Christmas before it’s too late?

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