• The Hub

    News, Notes, Talk

    Classic children’s books, rewritten for The Federalist.

    Jessie Gaynor

    July 13, 2023, 12:46pm

    Another day, another article about how the unstoppable forces of wokeness are coming for your kids. This time, via an article in The Federalist with the snappy headline “A Woke Children’s Literature Cabal Is Conditioning Your Kid To Be An Obedient Leftist.” TL;DR: Remember the good old days, when kids’ books taught important values like shame and conditional love?

    And so, in honor of The Federalist, I present a list of classic children’s books rewritten to counteract the wokeness cabal:

    Blue Lives Matter for Sal

    Guess How Much I Love You if You’re Straight

    Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Leftist Cabal

    Make Way for Amy Coney Barrett

    No Room on My Broom

    The Boxcar Children Are Ruining San Francisco

    The Little Engine That Could Take Away Your Human Rights

    The Grand Wizard of Oz

    The Snowy Day Is a Clear Indicator that Climate Change Is a Hoax

    If You Give a Mouse Student Loan Forgiveness


    The Taking Tree

    Miss Nelson Is Teaching Your Kids CRT!

  • Become a Lit Hub Supporting Member: Because Books Matter

    For the past decade, Literary Hub has brought you the best of the book world for free—no paywall. But our future relies on you. In return for a donation, you’ll get an ad-free reading experience, exclusive editors’ picks, book giveaways, and our coveted Joan Didion Lit Hub tote bag. Most importantly, you’ll keep independent book coverage alive and thriving on the internet.

    %d bloggers like this: