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    Abusive soccer star Ryan Giggs is also responsible for the worst “love” poem ever written.

    Jonny Diamond

    August 19, 2022, 11:25am

    Former Manchester United soccer star Ryan Giggs’s trial for alleged domestic abuse has revealed many things—mainly that he was an awful, abusive, and toxic boyfriend to Kate Greville. But he may* also be responsible for the worst love poem ever written (which was read aloud during the trial).

    Presented without comment.

    My darling Kate
    Unequivocally our love was fate

    I fell in love with you at first sight
    I remember coz I was as high as a kite

    Those beautiful eyes made me shiver
    I’m not gonna lie I think of you
    I dream of you

    Can’t help thinking pulling you was my
    greatest ever coo

    That stomach those abs
    Those pictures you send so I can keep tabs

    You make me feel funny down there
    Especially when you’re there and you look up and stare

    I’m beginning to think you are always right
    That’s okay it will keep us tight

    I’m gonna end by saying you are my love my friend my soul
    And most of all you believe in me,
    which makes me hard as a totem pole

     

    *He is, actually, definitively responsible for the worst love poem ever written.

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