A field guide to the readers you’ll see in public this spring.
Spring is springing, and that means our public spaces will soon be teeming with all kinds of readers. As the air starts to warm, readers will begin to emerge from their hibernations, bleary eyed and untanned, to alight on benches, picnic blankets, and bar stools.
There are many different varieties of reader you’ll come across, so here’s a short field guide to some of the more common varieties you might encounter in the wild.
The First Pager
Starting a book in public attracts a lot of negative scrutiny online, but we all have to start somewhere. A reader with a new book is a sign of a healthy reading ecosystem, where new books are being introduced.
The First Pager is commonly confused with The Performative Reader, a similar variety of reader. There is a noted difference in the books they read (T.P.R.s are most often seen with The Body Keeps The Score, for example) and they tend to frequent different locations: T.P.R.s are found in bars where they might score a date or sidewalks where influencers might interview them for viral videos.
The Stacker
Often found on a park bench or at a two-top in a bar or cafe, this reader has a tidy stack of books they tote around with them. This is a serious reader, someone who expects to get through more than one book in an outing, or who needs to cross reference information across multiple texts. This is a wise reader who you can approach like King Solomon of old, to ask for solutions to your problems or judgements on your disputes.
The Unwrapped Hardcover-er
Sometimes you don’t want everyone to see what you’re reading. These shy and evasive readers slip off their slipcovers and into analogue incognito mode. Whether it’s a new release they’re embarrassed about or a problematic older title they’ve rescued from pulping, these slightly anonymized books are meant to be seen but not scrutinized. If you recognize the book even though it’s been disrobed, a polite nod to this reader will win their affection.
A not that this variety is very similar to The Book Untoucher, a kind of reader who isn’t embarrassed about their book, but is extremely fastidious, and has removed their slipcover so it won’t be damaged.
The Glancer
Could be a spy, could be a people watcher, either way they’re not getting a lot of reading done. But they are very aware of their surroundings, and can be helpful if you ever find yourself in a confusing, Benny Hill-style chase.
The Print Outer
An extremely mysterious reader, out in the world with a sheaf of printed pages. What could these loose papers be? An essay they’re reading or grading for school? A work in progress they’re sweating over? A twisted manifesto or searing underground political tract? This reader is extremely skittish, and is often spotted alone: approach with care.
Note that the number of pages has to be more than a dozen, any fewer and this is probably not a reader, but rather someone reading a contract, an actor preparing for an audition, or someone who still prints out directions (see The Last MapQuest User; The Vacation Dad; etc.).
The Flock
If you see a group of readers: approach carefully, as a book club could break out at any time. If this happens, make yourself look large by opening your jacket or spreading out your arms.
The Picnic Spreader
This reader is most common in cafes or parks, and have constructed a nest around them of literary objects, like handsome notebooks, pens (fountain or, in case of emergency, ballpoint) and of course books. This is a reader that is working on something and could possibly be a writer. You can ask them what they’re working on, but make sure you have a place to sit and are hydrated, as the answer can be long.
The New Yorker-er
This reader is usually busy and on the go, since they have a lot of magazine to get through before the next issue arrives. This reader is often holding a folded or rolled magazine and some kind of caffeinated beverage. They tend to be slightly more stressed than other readers because they are engaged with the world, and also because they are constantly aware of the passage of time, due to the metronomic rhythm of a new magazine hitting their mailbox every week.
The Emoter
This is a reader who visibly reacts to everything that they’re reading, allowing others to follow along with their book beat by emotional beat. This reader is similar to The Yelper and The Cackler, who react to their reading with loud calls and cries. Unlike The Emoter, both of these readers are considered to be pests.
The Teens
It’s always nice to see kids reading, but trend lightly around teen readers, since they might turn you into a meme like “corny literary blogger wanders around the park taking notes.”
