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    1984, as summarized by Madison Cawthorn.

    Jessie Gaynor

    August 11, 2021, 9:20am

    The year is 1984, and the Ocean-America is ruled by the “Party” and the mysterious leader Big Brother, who everyone thinks is really great because she wears red lipstick and makes good Instagram videos even though it’s not like she’s cooler than other young political leaders who post cool pictures of themselves doing cool things like riding camels and holding guns. The Party cancels anyone who doesn’t conform to their regime using the Woke Police.

    Winston Smith works at the Ministry of Truth, where he tries to cancel statues of proud Ocean-Americans who might have enslaved a few people but also did cool shit like stealing land and naming it after themselves. Winston he secretly opposes the Party because he loves camels and guns and his God-given right to make racist jokes at the office.

    Winston joins Twitter, where he replies to every Big Brother tweet with funny things like “lol commie bitch,” because he’s funny and brave. At the Ministry of Truth, he sees Julia, whose job is canceling book deals, and he hates her. He also suspects that his boss, O’Brien, is part of a resistance movement known as the Brotherhood, formed by Big Brother’s political rival. Everyone in the Brotherhood is handsome and good at sex.

    One day, Julia hands Winston a love note, and they start having an affair. It turns out Julia hates the libs too, but she’s too afraid of being cancelled to say anything because she’s a woman. Winston was married before so he knows how women are like blah blah blah but also boo hoo hoo.

    O’Brien invites Winston over, and it turns out he’s in the Brotherhood and he gives Winston a copy of a book that Winston definitely reads because he know how to read, OKAY???

    Winston and Julia are suspended from Twitter for one week because it turns out everyone they thought were their friends were actually working for the Woke Police. While they’re in Twitter jail, Winston has so many good replies to tweet at Big Brother but instead he just has to say them out loud to himself. Then the Woke Police try to make him list his pronouns in his bio.

    Then he has sex with Julia but it turns out she wasn’t as hot as he thought at first.

    After he gets back on Twitter, he tweets “I love Big Brother” but it’s sarcasm and everyone thinks it’s really funny and he gets a million likes.

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