What to do about that embarrassing Deathly Hallows tattoo.

By Brittany Allen

---

September 12, 2024, 2:05pm

A meme’s going around. I saw it first on FKA Twitter:

💀 pic.twitter.com/B5PrCZMml9

— THE lusty argonian maid (@lindawg) September 1, 2024

Though there’s no data to support this “discovery,” the internet was quick to take it on its face. I think because we hear the ring of truth. I know a few former Potterphiles who are walking around with longer haircuts or sleeves these days, all to avoid affiliation with She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

If you do find yourself in the sheepish position of former fan who also loves people, know 1) we are legion. And, 2) there is help. Lots of it, in fact. A Reddit of fellow anti-TERF Potterphiles have created a safe brainstorming space—a pensieve, if you will?—where to share coping mechanisms.

And here’s what the better Wizengamot suggests you do about that that  tat.

Cover it up.

Naturally, the thing to do with ink that cannot stand the test of time is the ole “Wino Forever” approach, popularized by another He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. In other words? Get that damning wand removed.

Tattoo removal can unfortunately be expensive. Even a small bit of text can run you a hundred dollars, and prices go up when you throw size, color, pigment, and type into the mix.

If one zap was bad enough and you fear the Crucio! of lasers, there are other avenues. One user suggests make-up. “Dermablend is pricy, but it is hands-down the best full-coverage foundation on the market.”

Change it. 

If you went demure with your allegiance, you may be rocking a Deathly Hallows insignia. Probably about the size of a silver dollar, at the nape of your neck? Maybe you got it with your own Rons and Hermiones, the night before everyone went off to different colleges? And afterward, everyone hugged it out on the fifty yard line over promises of eternal friendship? Or, I dunno. Something like that.

The hivemind suggests some transfiguring line-work. Trelawney-style. According to Reddit, a Deathly Hallows can easily be turned into:

A Death Head’s Hawkmoth

The astronomical symbol for earth

The labrys 

“I know a woman that has tattooed ‘F*ck Rowling’ under hers.”

Inspired?

Apply a critical lens. 

Another user recommends the podcast Witch Please, a “fortnightly,” feminist spelunk into Harry’s world. Brought to you by the minds behind Material Girls, an ongoing “scholarly podcast about pop culture,” this chipper series ran from 2020-2023 and interrogated Rowling’s saga from a fews angles. Canadian hosts and critical thinkers Hannah McGregor and Marcelle Kosman contextualized flaws in the work through a warm, queer, trans gaze.

In an early episode, the hosts read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for…filth. Or to be specific, through the lenses of Orientalism, class analysis, and animal studies. They also troubled its Chosen One narrative.

Fans still in want of deprogramming, this one’s for you.

Revenge.

Says one Redditor, “Maybe we all save a dollar every time she tweets something even vaguely transphobic and at the end of the year donate it all to The Trevor Project in her name lol.”

Obviously, it’d be better to go straight to the billionaire’s coffers for this kind of Robin Hooding. We’d be open to logistical suggestions, on this point.

Find a new show. 

So you’ve covered or contextualized or co-opted your Dark Mark. What now? We all know it’s not easy to disown a world that shaped your childhood. But then, being adults, we gotta consider the stakes here. Just as Harry did, during those many, many battles to the death.

Determined Muggles may take note of more inclusive franchises. Fantasy as a genre is, after all, often richly queer and not at all TERF-y. One user recommends “Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson series.”