La Doppelgänger
In the bright light of the kitchen table,
I watch Amá take a thin blade. Cuts out
numbers from a card, transfers them to
another. She takes a magnifying glass,
holds it from a distance to not give the
words & numbers she’s putting together
heat. She looks at me, Quítate con tu coca.
I watch her create a new identification from across
the room. Years later, I’ll visit a man at 17
& ask him to create a new identity for me the way
Amá did that night. I’ll watch him cut
& shape a new me, not to survive, but to drink.
After Amá put herself into a new identification card,
she shows me & says, Dale gracias a Dios que tú nunca tendrás
que hacer esto. In the morning, we mourn the death
of a citizen & welcome the life of a doppelgänger.
Amá lights a candle to St. Judas & asks me to pray
to the universe with her, so doors can open for her.
I kneel next to her, hoping this plastic card can give her
the status she most desires. I didn’t know at the time
sometimes to survive you have to transform—
______________________________
How to Kill a Goat & Other Monsters by Saúl Hernández is available via the University of Wisconsin Press.
