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Here are 10 free campaign slogans for Hillbilly Elegy author JD Vance’s 2022 senate run.

Jonny Diamond

March 16, 2021, 10:58am

News broke yesterday that Peter Thiel, founder of Pay-Pal and the not-at-all sinister-sounding security and surveillance concern Palantir, is backing Hillbilly Elegy author JD Vance for a 2022 run at the Ohio senate seat left vacant by Rob Porter. Today, Salon is reporting that the Mercer family, who played a huge role in the rise of Donald Trump, is also investing in Vance’s political potential as a red meat man of the people. According to Protect Ohio Values, the super PAC formed in support of Vance’s run, the campaign will be built around “a network of grassroots conservatives committed to electing a Senator who will stand for and defend Ohio’s values in Washington, DC.” This totally describes Thiel and the Mercers.

And though the Vance campaign clearly needs no help with messaging, I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring for some of that sweet billionaire cash (before they rip up the roads in the name of fighting socialism).

Here are 10 free (freedom!) campaign slogans that could put Vance over the top:

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Because freedom means the right to make your own government cheese.

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A fountainhead in every holler.

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Hillbillionaires 2022!

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Wait… are we the baddies?

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Because “nationalist” isn’t a dirty word. Also I am white.

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Free bootstraps for every child in America.

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Help me help you help me get my own show on Fox.

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Because I don’t care how you pronounce Appalachia.

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A New York Times profile for every rural white voter: It’s what America needs.

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What if evil… works?

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