A Campus Novel for Every Kind of Back to Schooler

It’s nearly Labor Day, the unofficial end of summer, which also means the unofficial beginning of fall, the time of year when we all officially get to don our crisp navy blazers and hoist our leather book straps and head back to school. No? You’ve started school already, and no one uses book straps anymore, and by the way it’s still 95 degrees outside? Okay, well, while most of us probably don’t live in a collegiate fantasy, many of us are either going back to school in the coming weeks or feeling nostalgic about same, and to that end, it’s the perfect time of year to pick up a good campus novel. But which one? So glad you asked, because like the A+ student that I am (apple, anyone?), I have all the answers. Note that though they are often left off traditional lists of campus novels, I’ve included a few novels set in boarding schools and graduate schools, because they have the same tenor as the usual variety, and because I like them, and because not everyone is in college yet.

If you describe yourself as an “everyman” and/or habitually tell amusing stories involving you and your boss:
Kingsley Amis, Lucky Jim

If your version of back-to-school is returning to a long, drawn-out PhD program that you’ve never really left and might never escape:
Weike Wang, Chemistry

If you secretly long to join a cult, but find you’re a bit too intellectual to really go for it:
Donna Tartt, The Secret History

If you crush at Settlers and want to take it to the next level:
Christopher J. Yates, Black Chalk

If you lost something on the way here:
Vladimir Nabokov, Pnin

If this is the year you’re definitely going to fall in love (though you could be swayed as to whether the object of your affection need still be alive):
A. S. Byatt, Possession

If this is the year you’re going to start that novel/finish that novel/get into that MFA program/start that MFA program:
Michael Chabon, Wonder Boys

If any of the above is true, and also you’re going to Iowa:
Lan Samantha Chang, All Is Forgotten, Nothing Is Lost

If this is the year you’re going to have an affair, but you refuse to be basic about it:
Susan Choi, My Education

If this is the year you’re going to lose your virginity (or at least gossip about the people who do):
Pamela Erens, The Virgins

If you’re tired of your real (read: human) friends:
Richard Powers, Galatea 2.2

If you’re really only willing to put up with college for a couple ~~pages~~ months before moving on to something much more ~~exciting~~ harrowing:
J.M. Coetzee, Disgrace